This could also be called, How to Build Positive Momentum in your life and How to Build Negative Momentum in your Life. I would imagine that most of us can identify with behaviors in both columns. It may not be all or none. Moderation may also need to be addressed. Many people who watch a little bit of TV everyday, may consider themselves to be very successful. I would like to hear from you. What makes someone a successful person? Do you think this chart is accurate?
Shared from Lead.Learn.Live.
I spent years in the right column and have been transitioning to the left column for 2 years now. I can easily see the difference between how I used to think and act as to how I function now.
Sounds like lots of growth!
Yes indeed. Well worth the growing pains.
I am sure!
Wow… Reblogging this. Thanks for the post. Loved it 🙂
I am glad that you liked it!
Marvelous !
Thanks! 🙂
Hello Kristin,
I saw this chart yesterday on David’s Lead.Learn.live blog and had a few ideas in mind, but never got around to writing them out; so I will do so now.
First and foremost, I am a huge advocate of critical thinking. So asking the questions, “What makes someone a successful person? Do you think this chart is accurate?” encourages that. So good on you for that. 🙂
I do think successful people (define “success,” right? I suppose it depends on what we mean by success and how we’re measuring it. For example, was Thoreau a success?), I think successful happy people generally grateful people, whereas unhappy ego-driven people (which is what I think this chart is really getting at–Non-Ego-Driven People versus Ego-Driven People) usually carry with them a fairly big sense of entitlement.
I think that Non-Ego-Driven People (Non-EDPs) give credit where credit is due, whereas Ego-Driven People (EDPs), because their lens tends to be distorted, and their view of reality biased, tend to take more than their fair share of credit when they succeed and tend to abdicate responsibility when they fail.
I think EDPs criticize (different than constructive criticism) because they tend to be unhappy, overly competitive, and unable to take the hit to their ego and sense of self (sense of who they are). I think EDPs are driven by an emaciated ego–they crave validation, attention, success (financial), power, in order to feel safe and secure and to prove themselves (to appease the chip on their shoulder. They also likely tend to criticize because maybe that’s what they’ve been around and grew up with–cold harsh distant critical parents (or at least one of the parents was that way).
I think Non-EDPs still can be critical, but tend to do so in a much more constructive way, and they tend to sandwich their constructive criticism with encouragement and validation–i.e. “this is what you did that was really good and strong and positive, and this is where you can do better, and these are some suggestions on perhaps how to do so, and I think you will succeed and do well, because I think you have this amazing potential in you,” et cetera, et cetera.
I do think that EDPs tend to be know-it-alls (it’s a defense against uncertainty, ambiguity and feeling not in control). I think Non-EDP’s tend to be more comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty and mystery, and so they are much more open–and open people tend to be learners, tend to be teachable (part of being open, means having an open mind).
I don’t know if it’s only EDPs who don’t know what they want to be. I think that is a very flawed distinction the author of this chart made. I think there are many Non-EDPs who also don’t really know what they want to be, who don’t know what they want to do with their one wild precious life (“Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?” from a Mary Oliver poem).
Just a few initial thoughts on this. Thanks for visiting my blog, Kristin, and for commenting! 🙂
Kindest regards as always,
John
I did a Google image search, and I found that the title of this picture is “The Success Indicator” by MaryEllen Tribby — http://maryellentribby.com/products/
Thank you, John.
I always enjoy reading your comments, John. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this!
The chart on the left certainly seems to have a lot of good advice, and the chart on left things to avoid. I saw another list that included things like being passionate about what you do and believing that you will be successful. That last one might have more to do with being successful in a particular endeavor as opposed to being a successful “person.”
Good points! 🙂
Yup. I think it’s a pretty accurate map of ‘reality’…
🙂
This is very black and white thinking which makes me feel uncomfortable. I have traits in both areas, so it is a hard dichotomy for me to process. It makes for good practice of my DBT skills though 🙂
I love DBT! Keep up the good practice. Remember practice makes progress.
I wish it was all so “cut and dry”. That one could describe it all in two pictures. It all depends on how we define success. In the media and in many people’s minds, successful people are those who have money and power, who have “made it in life”. Many such people, unfortunately – and in my book, have several attributes from the picture on the right side. Just met a few last week.
Thank you for your comments. It really isn’t all that ‘cut and dry’ is it? 🙂
A “To Be” list. Love it!! My To Do is quite long these. Perhaps it could use a transformation — and a healthy new perspective.
Oh…and I think the lists are spot on. Definitely no time for TV. Cuts into my joy time. 😀