The Snowball Effect

Kristin Cuthriel

Teaching Children to be Grateful

33 Comments

Written by Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed., MSW, LCSW

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. 

-John F. Kennedy

My children were taught at a very young age to say thank you and no thank you.  When my daughter was three, I would pick her up from preschool and her teacher would often tell me how polite she was to everybody.  Matter of fact, she was so polite that she responded “no thank you” when her teacher asked her if she was ready to go to the computer lab, and when her dentist asked if she was ready to get her teeth cleaned.  (By the way, these really weren’t choices.)

Although she was taught to say the right words, did she really feel gratitude?  I hope so.  We can easily throw words around, but do we feel them?  Do our children?  Today so many kids have so much; are they truly grateful?

Cellphones, Xbox, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS, 3DS, PSP, MP3        Help!  Too many numbers and letters to keep straight.  How many gaming systems do they need?  And what would they do if they could no longer text message? 

This morning I found a terrific article by Kristen Stewart called Teaching Kids the Importance of Gratitude.   Kristin Stewart states, “Expressing feelings of thanks can decrease stress and increase a feeling of belonging.  The best way parents can raise grateful kids is by modeling the behavior themselves.”  She goes on to say, “Most parents have taught their kids the importance of saying thank you by grade school, if not sooner.  But how many have truly instructed them in the art of being grateful?”

Her article explains the importance of gratitude and ways to teach it to children.  Whether you have children or not, I encourage you to read Stewart’s article.  The link can be found below along with some other great posts.

Kristen Stewart’s article

Other great articles on gratitude

Comments

  3. stuartart says

    Interesting question at the end – do we feel thanks when we say thanks? I think we do when we’re older. We’re thankful that someone thought of us for instance (even if what they did or said or gave us was unwanted). We can understand that we are grateful for their intention. Kids I think are probably confused by this, I’m sure I was. Having to say thanks for a gift I didn’t want felt like lying. I was taught not to lie. So I’m sure there is some conflict there for kids until they understand the concept of intention. Maybe we should make this clearer to our kids as soon as possible? Thought provoking article. Thanks. 🙂

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  5. Cindy Schwalb says

    Kris, your posts are so well-crafted to both inform and invite discussion! I look forward to exploring your latest topic. In regard to gratitude, I’d like to mention research from the Heart Math Institute. This organization has been able to measure the positive effects appreciation can have on both our mental and physical health. Their findings reveal that in a state of gratitude, the electrical (communication) systems throughout the body display congruent frequencies, in sync communication that represents smooth functioning. Feelings of anger initiate incongruent, chaotic frequencies throughout the body and thus may initiate dis-ease. So children who are able to understand and experience gratitude (and are encouraged to relate to life in this way), may actually grow up to experience better mental and physical health, along with a higher quality of life.
    In reference to the endless electronic games, The Heart Math Inst. recently offered a free webinar for parents on this topic entitled Children Growing Up in a Digital Age. It should be available on their website. Very interesting research.
    Thank you for your time and sharing of resources and knowledge.

    Reply

  6. Joan Y. Edwards says

    Dear Kristin,
    I enjoyed reading your article. It is a great practice to teach children from the very earliest age to be thankful.
    I am honored that you placed a link to my blog post “The Power of Thankfulness.” I appreciate it.
    Do something fun to celebrate you!
    Never Give Up
    Joan Y. Edwards

    Reply

  8. rabidmongoose says

    OK, so let’s bring the focus in on this one sentence of yours:
    “Today so many kids have so much; are they truly grateful?”
    When I read that, my immediate thought was: “Then take away what they have.”
    It’s hard to be thankful for things that come easily and often.

    Reply

  9. Valentina says

    I find a lot of degradation in kid’s manners these days and gratitude seems a foreign word. If I do meet a well-mannered kid it’s almost a disbelief and wonder if she/he really means it. Gratitude and feeling the gratitude need to be taught at an early age.

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