Some of the most successful people have no problem admitting that they have made a mistake. It is for this reason that they may be so successful. We must be willing to admit our mistakes, before we can be open to learning a new way.
Face it; we do not like to admit that we have made a mistake, even if it is a simple one. Being corrected is no fun at all. Sometimes it is just a matter of opinion, and there is no right or wrong. Other times, we are mistaken; or we just screwed up, plain and simple. Although it may not be on our top ten fun things to do list, some of us are able to admit mistakes without any hesitation, while others can not acknowledge them to themselves, let alone to others.
We all know people who can do no wrong, at least in their own mind. Even the possibility of being mistaken, makes them feel deeply threatened. Rather than viewing mistakes as opportunities necessary for self-growth, they may deny, rationalize, and blame their mistakes on others. Why? Take a look.
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Reasons people do not admit simple mistakes
- All or none thinking: Thinking that one mistakes equals total failure.
- Old tapes: Many individuals who were told that they were stupid or incapable as children, grow up believing this on a very deep level. When they mess up, even slightly as adults, these old feelings are triggered, and they feel stupid once again.
- To avoid anxiety: Admitting mistakes to ourselves often creates anxiety and guilt. If we can rationalize our behavior and place the blame on someone else, we can escape the anxiety and guilt associated with our action.
- Drive to be perfect: This goes back to all or none thinking. We can’t be perfect if we make a mistake. We must be perfect or we are flawed. (This type of thinking will leave you always feeling flawed.)
- Shame: Rather than viewing the behavior as flawed, a person who carries a lot of shame will view themselves as flawed.
Benefits to acknowledging and admitting simple mistakes
- Personal growth: People do not change what they won’t acknowledge.
- Model for children: Children need to know that their parents and teachers not only make mistakes, but are able to own them. This modeling will help children with their own accountability. Children are also far more likely to accept correction from adults who are able to recognize their own short-comings. Keep in mind that there are things that are appropriate to share with children and things that are harmful to disclose. Choose wisely.
- Effective leadership: Employees will be more open to correction and redirection from a manager who can acknowledge his or her own mistakes.
- Healthier relationships: It is really difficult to have a relationship with a person who can do no wrong.
Sometimes our ego gets in the way, and we may defend our actions at all costs. We may appease our ego while sacrificing true learning, self-growth, and healthy relationships. The next time that you are corrected, take a moment to examine the situation before completely dismissing it. It may be an opportunity for you to grow.
Related articles
- Gazing in the Looking Glass without Self-punishment – Emotional Intelligence for Personal Growth Part VII (dare-to-dream.us)
- Mistakes – Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life’s Lessons (divinetiminglifecoaching.wordpress.com)
- 3 Mistakes That Invite Anxiety to Undermine Your Performance (psychologytoday.com)
- Mistakes – Our Noose and Learning Tool? (gwendolynndedanaan.wordpress.com)
- How to learn from your mistakes (mylittleblackpen.wordpress.com)
- Get Ready to Fail (blogs.hbr.org)
- Shame and Guilt: Masters of Disguise (lizawrites.wordpress.com)
- Failure is must once in a life (mylittleblackpen.wordpress.com)
- 10 Mistakes Unhappy People Make (jabelah.wordpress.com)
- Admitting Mistakes (continuations.com)
- 12 Things Successful People Do Differently (10bellevue.blogspot.com)
- Oprah admits mistakes in launch of OWN (respectedlife.org)
Reblogged this on Todd's Perspective and commented:
Thanks, Kristin — always look forward to your posts…
Thank you, Todd. Enjoy your weekend.
Todd, Thank you for sharing my post on twitter 🙂
Reblogged this on Namaste Consulting Inc. and commented:
Being open to letting our mistakes me our teacher isn’t easy but some of the greatest lessons we can learn.
Great blog post!
I agree. Thank you for the reblog and the kind words.
You always have good advice, Kristin. Thanks.
Thank you, Anneli. Enjoy your weekend.
Absolutely beautiful! I loved your topic! It was very well written and thank you for the Pingback I really appreciated it! I think I’m going to to back and edit it to include a link to this blog of yours (if it isn’t already there). 🙂 Thank you again!
Thank you and you are welcome. Have a nice weekend.
What is sad, is that we are taught to fear mistakes by the formal education system, beginning on Day 1. This is the biggest source of such a widespread block to success and self-confidence. And by supporting the goals of the formal system, parents are reinforcing it. No wonder so many are home schooling. It is possible that home-schooled kids who rejoin formal education and a later age (when exercising independence is natural), are more protected from such conditioning. Anyway …
Ken Robinson illustrates the source of our fear of mistakes so poignantly in his funny, honest, passionate speech:
http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Cindy, I will check it out. Thank you for your comments.
Bizarre! I tweeted this very point this morning! ‘People that succeed are prepared to fail more.’ And it’s so true – they are pushing the envelope and taking risks. You don’t succeed by playing safe.
Great minds think alike. 🙂 Have a great weekend, Stuart.
Nice post. Very good points. I, for one, hate making mistakes! But…I make them all the time. I try to do it with audience (my kids) so that they can watch me “enjoy” doing something wrong. I’m always led to something different, usually the “correct” result, or at the very least, a better, more well-defined me.
I compare making mistakes with those fines lines and wrinkles around my eyes and mouth, gently formed by life’s emotions (good and not). I’d give up neither. I prefer not to watch life viewed from the comfort of my living room sofa.
“I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways which don’t work.” ~ Thomas Edison
I love this Thomas Edison quote. I also love your outlook. Thank you so much for sharing.
Excellent and well needed advice. Thank you for posting.
Thank you for reading.
Always a good reminder, introspection, who takes the time? Lately me.
Thanks to blogs like yours.
Recently I have been apologizing more, to my husband, grandchildren and children,
perceived problems with our behavior must be addressed.
Sometimes we think some one will just get over it, WE know we were not trying to hurt their feelings….but what if they don’t?
MISTAKES AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS HAPPEN!
So I have been apologizing more and rationalizing less.
Introspection is often very difficult, but important. Thank you for sharing, Melinda.
Great post, sent it out via ppm4u on twitter!
Tina, Thank you for sharing via twitter.
You are very welcome!
Great post. It’s never easy when someone is never wrong in their mind, or at least unwilling to admit it. If we all could just admit when we are wrong or at least do it sometimes, the world would be a better place 🙂
I agree, Brian. Thanks for commenting.
Thank you for the Pingback.