Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. –C.S. Lewis
Are you holding on to something that is prohibiting you from moving forward in life? Are you stuck in the past, missing the moment? Are you willing to allow your past to destroy your present and your future?
Following painful experiences, we all need time to grieve. In the beginning, we may deny the experience because the reality is just too difficult to accept. We may become angry and feel depressed. These feelings may be brief or they may last awhile, depending on the severity of the loss or experience. Allow yourself this time and find support so that you do not have to grieve alone. Sharing your pain can actually accelerate the healing process.
If you allow yourself to feel your feelings without judging them as good or bad, you will eventually come to a crossroads- radical acceptance or living in the pain. If you choose the path of acceptance, you acknowledge that life as you knew it has changed. You let go of an old way of life, willing to embrace new experiences that have yet to unfold. This path of radical acceptance will allow you to experience joy again.
The other path is the path that I call living in the pain. This road is the road of rumination. Thoughts about how things use to be consume the mind. The present moment is lost and the mind is shut to future opportunities. This path will prohibit you from experiencing the joy life has to offer.
Radical acceptance is often difficult, but necessary if one is to move forward in life. It is accepting the things that you cannot change no matter how much you want to change them. It is about letting go of what was in order to experience what is and what will be.
Thanks for the mention, Kristin!
You are welcome.
As always, your blog is loaded with good advice.
Always great to hear from you, Anneli.
“following painful experiences we all need to grieve”
I figured that out when I quit trying to be positive through everything without grieving the loss which eventually led to major depression. Talking and sharing and knowing that grief is a natural feeling in the face of loss helps to go through a situation with grace and hope. It’s so much better than getting caught up in the rumination and “living in the pain”.
I agree. Thank you for your comments, Shelly.
I need to remember this more often! Glad to have found your blog 🙂
I think most of us need little reminders from time to time. Thank you for reading and commenting, Jennifer.
Couldn’t have said it better. A brilliant post. Really love the ways you tell it. I actually have someone close to me, at the moment, who is struggling to let go of a past hurt and what that does is to absolutely block most of the joy that is in the moment. Nothing shines brightly when your stuck in the pain, not accepting the the change and moving on..Thks
I hope that the person that is close to you can eventually move past the hurt and find joy again. Thank you for your comments.
Such a wonderful post; I shared it on my Facebook page so others could read your wise words!
Thank you, Pamela. Have a great day!
War…horror & lost innocence. I had my whole life ahead of me & knew I was destined for
something great. Instead, I am haunted by past memories. Then as now, no one cared or wanted to know. Your blog has provided me with support & the hope of one day finding happiness. Thank You!
Greg, you are so welcome! I suggest that you do not heal alone. You can heal, but get a therapist to join you on your healing journey. When selecting a therapist, be picky. Find one who knows a lot about PTSD and treating trauma. You may want to find a cognitive behavioral therapist that does EMDR therapy. YOU CAN HEAL! YOU CAN DO GREAT THINGS! Find a therapist so that you don’t have to go it alone. Plus they are trained in healing. Warmly, Kristin