A client came to me the other day. She is chronically anger with her mother and has been for years. The anger is poisoning her. It is tearing her apart. She describes herself as nothing but a bitter shell of who she use to be. She is so consumed by her anger that she is shutting out all of the joy in her life (and there is a lot). I shared with her my lesson.
My lesson about life being precious and short- way too short to spend it full of contempt and resentment. The lesson that we learn when we have a near death experience, survive a life threatening illness, or lose a loved one.
Her mother is getting up there in years and is struck with an illness that is taking over her body. “Let go,” I stressed to my client. I moved my chair a little closer, but not too close. I looked my client in the eye, and with extreme passion, but a tone close to a whisper, I said, “It is time to let go. Enjoy the time that you have left with your mother.” My client’s eyes welled with tears, and she nodded yes. She knew, the time had come. The time to let go. The time to rid herself of the poison. The time to stop ruminating about the past. The time to reclaim her life. The time to let life in.
Are you poisoning yourself with resentment? Has the time come to let it go? Only you can really make that decision. Make it well. You deserve the best in life, but it is up to you.
I find that letting go can be one of the hardest yet most rewarding things you can do! I hope your client can find some peace and enjoy the time she has left with her mum…
We have been working together for some time now. She has had the opportunity to process her anger and take some steps toward healing. I think she is ready to let it go. At least, I hope so. Thank you for your comments. Have a great day!
I hope your client finds the closure as it is hard. I suffered the same fate and only now am I accepting my past. Please read my post at http://jennysserendipity.com/2012/12/04/he-who-cannot-forgive-others/ – Best, Jenny
Jenny, I just clicked on your link and read your related post. I admire your courage and love your attitude!
This is so easy to do and yet so hard! Some of the tools I’ve used to help me and others ‘Let Go’ of resentment, blame and anger have included Hale Dwoskin’s Sedona Method – where the asking of 4 questions really helps to discover whether you are ‘ready’ to let go. Another is Tony Robbins ‘Thanking’ process: when remembering the bitterness and anger one holds, get clear about which positive personality traits you have because of them. Then ‘thank’ that person for being [the way they were] which helped make you the ‘way that you are’. Associating this gratitude with ‘that’ person allows a new emotion to occupy the space where anger, resentment etc. used to. Sometimes the change can be instant! Nice post Kristin. 🙂
Thank you for the tools, Stuart.
oh, takes the life out of someone to carry something like that for years! Hope she’s doing better 🙂
She is. Thank you for reading and commenting. 🙂
Well-played, Kristin! Move in a little closer, but not too close. Well done.
And as has been oft-said and is so true, resentment is like swallowing poison, and hoping the other person will die. It’s we who really die while alive (in a bad way) by being resentful.
And this is a link to one of my favorite let it go / get perspective type sermons–http://aweektolive.wordpress.com/you-who-are-nursing-grudges-not-speaking-to-someone-out-of-spite-the-time-is-short/
Kindest regards, and thanks as always for posting such insightful and thought-provoking pieces!
John
Thank you, John. Kindest regards to you, too. I will check out the link.
What a wonderful gift you gave to your client! I hope she takes it and revels in the freedom of letting go! It is so free-ing! She is lucky to have you. xo
🙂
Great advice! I hope your client continues to take it.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
Thank you.
That poor woman. Not letting go of anger can wreck an otherwise merry life. I’m glad she got the opportunity to have someone shake her loose of it! Now, it’s up to her to make it reality. You are where you belong for a reason, Kristin. Again, in the right line of work from where I see it. 🙂
🙂
Terrific advice, as always! 🙂
Thank you for commenting, Brian.
God can help you to let go too. Sometimes professional help does not work.
I believe in the power of prayer! There are many factors that affect whether professional help will work or not. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
We make our own problems with thought, desire, expectation then blame, resentment and anger.
taking responsibility for our life then taking action mentally and physically starts to heal us.
Life can only be experience fully in this moment absent of the random clutter of the ego’s thoughts. We serve the ego we create I stead of discounting or letting its thoughts are worthless and not who we are.
Thoughts are air without action. Why give them power.
I f you believe your thoughts are powerful or dangerous, please go outside and stop the next vehicle with your thoughts. I will follow you if you do, if not let go and live, here and now.
You make some great points. Thank you for adding to my blog. Have a great day, Marty.
It’s a good time of year for this post because getting together with family is more complicated than we expect at times.
I mean the “being” together.
Yes, it is complicated for many. Thank you, Anneli.
Stories like this are just so sad, as life is just too short to waste it on hurt and anger. I am glad that she has sought help at least. Hopefully she will take the steps to restore her own life.
Yes Tina. I hope so.
I love this post and wish more people would get this message. Your client is lucky to have you in her life,
Thank you for your kind words, Barbara. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Anneli sent me – glad she did!
Welcome, stay awhile. I am so excited that she sent to you. Have a great day. I look forward to talking to you more.
Hi Kristin,
Thanks for the ‘link’ to my blogpost and your ‘like’. There’s a lot we can let go of…”Anger” is a pretty good start.
be good to yourself
David
Thank You, David.
You make the world a better place. 🙂
A big hug to you 🙂
In my situatation, with a crazy neighbor, instead of letting her consume my thoughts, I took her to coffee & let it go. She was surprised at the invitation & the problems with her don’t constantly invade my thoughts. Great post-look forward to future ones from you!
I love the way you dealt with this situation. You embraced the situation, probably did the opposite of what you felt like doing, did something kind, and your situation improved. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Todd- Thank you for sharing my post with your readers.