The hardest thing I did with my son was helping him through a being bullied phase at school … getting across to him just what you are saying here … That by reacting, you are feeding the fire, and they will come back for more. It took months and month and hours on the phone (he and my daughter lived with me ex) but one day it just hit him and he stopped caring about the bullies, and within days they just moved on. They had no meaning in his life other than what they created and once he realized it, he was free.
Today it is good to hear him talk about letting it go …
I am so glad that you were there to support your son through the bullying. It is heartbreaking to be the child and the parent in these situations. Sounds like you did a great job. I am glad that your son had you to talk to and is working on healing the emotional wounds.
I….got nothing! Because you pretty much said all that needs to be said and had I thought of it – I’d have said it too. Reminder though I still have my own post to do about something related/similar. 🙂
Thanks for saying it Kristin. We find bullying so abhorrent it’s difficult to feel for the bully. But as you point out, they are made that way by their own environment. They are usually just as much bullied themselves as we see them bullying. How do we help bullies that are in families where they feel this is natural behaviour – even required!?
You always ask such terrific questions, Stuart. Education through schools can help. Sometimes a child who is bullying others gets into trouble and lands in counseling. The bully then has an opportunity to learn what healthy relating looks like and can work on self-esteem issues. However, the parents of bullies are often reluctant to bring their children for counseling because they don’t see anything wrong with the behavior. It is a generational thing. School programs can help.
Kristin, great blog and topics!! Bullying can indeed effect a person’s whole life. I was bullied a lot growing up, as well as I saw it happen often as I taught for over 30 yrs. I wrote a children’s book called Monsters, Monsters, Monsters! published by Publish America, about bullying written from different perspectives…from the bully, about the bully, about the bullied, and from the bully who has begun to change. Blessings to you!!
Thank you. The wounds are difficult to heal, but they can be healed. There may always be some pain, but much less intense when we learn to love ourselves and realize that the bullying was not a reflection of our worth, but a reflection of the bully feeling worthless.
The Canadian Red Cross has a program they are trying to get into schools. I think it is a great way to instill the lessons you try to convey here. Good stuff Kristin! Keep posting as bit by bit the words will fall upon the ears that need to hear, the hands that need to do and the mouths that need to talk. Hugs!
I would love to know about the program. I will keep posting and hope that it will fall upon ears that need to here. Thank you for your on-going support, Liz.
If only all parents understood this.
Me too 🙂
Beautiful words !
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🙂
I love this ! Thanks for sharing.
You are welcome! Thank you for commenting.
You are very welcome! Keep in touch 🙂
I still think they should have mandatory parenting classes in high school.
I agree!!!
I wish more parents knew this and practiced it. I’m with wordsfomanneli above.
I agree with Anneli, too.
The hardest thing I did with my son was helping him through a being bullied phase at school … getting across to him just what you are saying here … That by reacting, you are feeding the fire, and they will come back for more. It took months and month and hours on the phone (he and my daughter lived with me ex) but one day it just hit him and he stopped caring about the bullies, and within days they just moved on. They had no meaning in his life other than what they created and once he realized it, he was free.
Today it is good to hear him talk about letting it go …
I am so glad that you were there to support your son through the bullying. It is heartbreaking to be the child and the parent in these situations. Sounds like you did a great job. I am glad that your son had you to talk to and is working on healing the emotional wounds.
It is a shame that many parents do not realize this very thing. Thank you for spreading this wisdom!
You are welcome. Thank you for your comments, Tina. Enjoy your Monday.
I….got nothing! Because you pretty much said all that needs to be said and had I thought of it – I’d have said it too. Reminder though I still have my own post to do about something related/similar. 🙂
🙂
Reblogged this on The Musings of Lady Gwendolynn.
Thank you for sharing this with your readers. I hope that you enjoy your day!
Thanks for saying it Kristin. We find bullying so abhorrent it’s difficult to feel for the bully. But as you point out, they are made that way by their own environment. They are usually just as much bullied themselves as we see them bullying. How do we help bullies that are in families where they feel this is natural behaviour – even required!?
You always ask such terrific questions, Stuart. Education through schools can help. Sometimes a child who is bullying others gets into trouble and lands in counseling. The bully then has an opportunity to learn what healthy relating looks like and can work on self-esteem issues. However, the parents of bullies are often reluctant to bring their children for counseling because they don’t see anything wrong with the behavior. It is a generational thing. School programs can help.
Reblogged this on Parents on Post and commented:
Empowering and so true. Great post! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with your readers!
Kristin, great blog and topics!! Bullying can indeed effect a person’s whole life. I was bullied a lot growing up, as well as I saw it happen often as I taught for over 30 yrs. I wrote a children’s book called Monsters, Monsters, Monsters! published by Publish America, about bullying written from different perspectives…from the bully, about the bully, about the bullied, and from the bully who has begun to change. Blessings to you!!
Thank you. The wounds are difficult to heal, but they can be healed. There may always be some pain, but much less intense when we learn to love ourselves and realize that the bullying was not a reflection of our worth, but a reflection of the bully feeling worthless.
The Canadian Red Cross has a program they are trying to get into schools. I think it is a great way to instill the lessons you try to convey here. Good stuff Kristin! Keep posting as bit by bit the words will fall upon the ears that need to hear, the hands that need to do and the mouths that need to talk. Hugs!
I would love to know about the program. I will keep posting and hope that it will fall upon ears that need to here. Thank you for your on-going support, Liz.
sad realities about bullying. :(( family is where it all started.
Trixie, It is sad. Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my posts. Also, thank you for liking on Facebook!
you’re welcome Kristin! :)) you’re one inspiring gal. keep it up!
Thank you, Trixie! 🙂