Healthy relationships are like two hula hoops partially overlapping without one totally covering the other. They overlap and share a common area while maintaining their separate identity. Like a venn diagram, the middle is the WE. The WE is strong, but the YOU to the left and the ME to the right still exists.
If our hula hoops don’t intersect at all, there is too much distance. If one hula hoop totally covers the other, individuality disappears, and enmeshment and co-dependency remain.
Inspect your relationship. Does it have balance? Does it have an I, a YOU, and a WE?
So, can there be both too much distance AND too much covering?
Absolutely! This is a dance that infects many relationships. Many times a fear of intimacy is at the root. People in relationships often swing back and forth without achieving a healthy balance. Many times, one person desperately clings causing another to withdraw. Then the person who was clinging will either cling tighter or withdraw themselves. When the original clinger withdraws, the original withdrawer clings. It is an unhealthy dance. Therapy can help. Thank you for your awesome question!
So simply put and understandable and so very true!
Thank you!
So simply put but so easy to understand and so true!
I am glad!
That’s an excellent visual concept Kristin. I suppose the question is: How much overlap should there be in an ideal relationship. I guess it fluctuates! 🙂
It fluctuates, but hopefully not too much.
I’m not sure I can get my husband to put on a hula hoop ;-), but it’s a good analogy.
You put a smile on my face with this one!
Well said. But, both will need to understand and know how and when, perhaps…
Love it…simple and straight forward 🙂
Thanks, Tina!
I love the last comment and it is so true that it takes two to make things work – one sided relationships are not happy ones!
🙂