Fighting depression is hard! It requires a lot of work. What may seem like a simple task to someone who is not depressed, may be terribly difficult for someone who is.
If you are feeling depressed, ask yourself, “Am I doing everything that I can to decrease my depression?”
If you do not like the way that you are currently feeling, you may need to do something different, no matter how difficult, to get you snowballing in a different direction.
If you answer no to any of the following questions, you may not be doing enough to decrease your depression.
- Do I spend more time loving the people who love me rather than dwelling on the people who don’t?
- Am I getting active and exercising at least thirty minutes each day?
- Am I listening to music that inspires me?
- No matter how bad I feel, do I force myself to shower and get dressed every morning?
- Do I write down at least two things that I am grateful for everyday?
- Have I discussed my mood with my doctor?
- Do I pray and/or meditate everyday?
- Am I seeking support from others no matter how much I want to isolate myself?
- Am I forcing myself to go to bed before midnight and get out of bed before 9:00 am?
- Am I giving myself the credit that I deserve for having the courage and endurance to do the above nine things when I really want to do nothing at all?
If you have pulled yourself out of a pretty deep dark depression, we would really like to know some of the things that you did to turn your mood around. Other people who are currently in that deep dark hole may benefit from your experience.
When we find something that has worked for us, others may benefit too.
*If you are feeling severely depressed, please seek medical help immediately.
Related articles
- Depressed: What Can I Do to help My Mood? (letlifeinpractices.com)
- Depression link for young women with insomnia (theage.com.au)
- Depression: not a normal part of getting old (miamiherald.com)
Your advice about going to bed and getting up is vital -The best advice I ever heard about getting up in the morning was “You just have to rise and put your two feet on the floor”. I would add a moment to give thanks for another day of life ….
A lot of people don’t realize how important this is- Thank you for sharing it.
Great questions. I answered many of those myself after 17 years of living in a dark and scary place. It was so awful that most nights and many days I was curled up on the floor begging for a quick and easy death, feeling helpless, useless, and ugly. Most people never realized how depressed I was because I hid behind a big smile in public, but looking back my actions must have raised a few eyebrows. From what I can tell at this point in life, my depression started as a twelve year old child who moved to a different school each year, was bullied and teased, and wasn’t taught how to solve problems. Being a mixed race, liberal family already put me at odds with most of my peers. I felt different from such an early age and that feeling made it easy for me to unconsciously segregate myself from others.
What pushed me to answer those questions was a culmination of events including death, a tragic job, inspiration, and action. Over and over again I asked myself “What do I want from life?”. To this day that question is ongoing in my mind and saves me from going back. Because there are things I want and they don’t include hating myself and living in fear.
1)To end the feeling of being ugly I stopped consuming hours and hours of media that told me how I should look and that there was always something wrong with me. No more magazines and TV shows. I remind myself each day that I have only one body and my looks may not be perfect, but they are mine and I am beautiful.
2)To stop feeling useless I wrote my first book encouraging girls to be strong and providing them with resources and information to help them do so. I also became certified to teach self defense. I continue to write more books and though I have regularly volunteered for the last 13 years, now I teach self defense to women and girls. I feel very useful when I write and teach.
3)To stop feeling helpless I changed my thinking. This was by far the hardest action to take. 17 years of thinking I was a victim became my religion. My first two actions showed me that I already was changing my thinking. So I had to take that a step forward and apply it to not just outside appearance and helping others. I decided to love my inner self with all my flaws, mistakes, and regrets. I also changed how I though towards others. It’s one thing to judge someone on their actions, it’s another to PASS judgement on others. I realize that we all have our own paths to take and mine is no better than yours.
Does that help anyone? I hope this isn’t too long for your comment section Kristin.
Wow. I am sure it will help many! You inspire me. Keep up the excellent work. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Would it be okay if I used your comments in a blog post with a link back to you?
I am in the process of coming out of a “depressed” state that I actually self created a few weeks ago. Basically, I did a very powerful cleanse that left my petite body at an emaciated 96 lbs…. Since then my relationship with food has been dysfunctional and my disordered eating that I have been battling my whole life (binge eating)…. Has come on strong. I feel my extraordinary ability to consume approx. 4 to 7 thousand calories a day is deeply emotional. I think being so thin left my heart feeling vulnerable and needing protection…. It’s funny that I ate mostly raw everyday and clean with a small indulgence before the cleanse…. But now… I have to be careful, as too much raw food makes my body feel frail and almost assaulted and I sabotage if I think my old way of eating is what works for me now. In a nutshell, I am finding that the quickest way out of this is acceptance. To feel sad and victimized if need be… Or to give myself permission to feel a little withdrawn (I find there is great value in going within when times are tough).. But also to remain open to shedding who I was and watching with gratitude as a new and improved me rises from the ashes. What is helping me up is clean eating with more cooked food to satisfy my need for protection. As well as exercise, meditation and staying away from those who think my current state is anything other than where I simply need to be right now and that I am in the process of positive evolution.
Currie Rose, I am so happy to hear that you are “in the process of positive evolution.” What you have written may be helpful to so many others. Have you ever read Tara Brach’s books, Radical Acceptance and True Refuge? If not I recommend them to you. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Tara Brach says sometimes you just need to invite your feelings to tea- meaning tend and befriend your emotions and yourself.
It’s very difficult for those of us that have never suffered from depression to understand the apparent apathy of those that do. I have to remind myself of my worst times, when I really didn’t care about anything, didn’t want to do anything and found it hard to be positive about anything. I try to remember how hard it was to even smile on those days and then I consider how hard it must be for a depressed person to be 10 times worse. Having said that I agree with Tony Robbins evaluation of depressed people – that they have turned ALL their focus inwards. The act of looking outwards can be massively transformative. Literally putting our attention on someone else’s well being can improve our own dramatically.
I would add that to your insightful list of questions above. Great and thought provoking post as usual Kristin. 🙂
I wholeheartedly agree Stuart. During the times I was depressed, I focused 100% on my lack and intense pain. The first step for me was getting out of myself. This is difficult for those in a state of depression, but it is so necessary. Focusing on and helping others and being grateful, got me out of my head.
Great post Kirsten. It’s so important to have resources such as this and positive help from people who have endured and overcame depression. Its also wonderful to hear from those who assist through compassion, even if they have never experienced depression personally.
Great points. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Stuart, thank you so much for commenting and adding your excellent insight. It will help many people.
Reblogged this on Wholeheartedness.
Thank you for sharing this, Todd.
No doubt about it, this is a tough world we are living in and many, even those who aren’t struggling with depression per se, would be wise to ask themselves these questions as they encourage a healthy lifestyle on every level. Thank you.
So true!
I have learned that food sensitivities and adrenal stress/failure have an impact on depression, as inflammatory response of the body, which takes many forms – including depression. I still struggle with depression, but am off medication for the first time in 24 years, and doing AS well (not perfect) as I did ON antidepressants. For me the process was eliminating or limiting food sensitivities discovered via blood test (quite a few). Also, things such as regular bedtime, avoiding caffeine, healthy eating, DHEA a.m and p.m. (and other anti-stress behaviors) designed to correct my adrenal malfunction (production of cortisol rather than progesterone), reversing years of chronic sleep problems for starters. This sounds complex, but it is really as simple as addressing depression from the physical side, in addition to the mental/psychological and even spiritual. Kristin – I absolutely LOVE your blog. Please know you have a reader who reads and rereads, and is really trying to make the positive changes you also are hoping for. Thank you.
So great to hear from you! Thank you so much for sharing your valuable information. I continue to learn more of the physical side of depression as well, and what a big difference our diet makes in our mood. Look forward to talking to you more. Warmly, Kristin 🙂 First time in 24 years! Great!
so easy to speak, so hard to do… me speaking (with an experience of more than 15 years of depression)
Yes, easier said then done! But do-able.
Thank you for sharing this with your readers! 🙂
Thank you for sharing a link to my post on depression.