The Snowball Effect

Kristin Cuthriel

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Are You True to Yourself?

May 6, 2013 Kristin 23 Comments

characterAre You True to Yourself?

I used to spend so much time responding and reacting to others, trying to figure out who they wanted me to be. My focus was on how I could be pleasing to them, never stopping to consider whether they were pleasing to me. As long as they liked me, I was okay- or so I thought.

And then I had an “Ah Ha” moment. I realized that if I change myself to please them, I am deceiving both of us. They will be with a person that I am not, and I will be with a person who really wants the made up version of me.

When I figured this out, I began to be much more true to myself and to others. This, I found to be very freeing. It was then that I attracted people who accepted me for who I really am. There was no deception. I also realized that a fear of rejection was at the root of the problem. I then asked myself, “If I am rejected for being me, is that a relationship that I really want to continue to pursue?” 

I decided that the most important thing is for me to be the best version of myself that I can be, and if someone rejects that (and they will- we ALL experience rejection from time to time), that is okay because it just wasn’t meant to be.

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Inspirational be the best that you can be, people pleasing, rejection, true to yourself

Comments

  1. busymindthinking says

    May 6, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    This is fantastic! Thanks for sharing it! You are always enough…just as you are. Blessings on your day!

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:03 am

      Thank you. Blessings to you, too.

      Reply
  2. Playamart - Zeebra Designs says

    May 6, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    this is so true, and it takes many of us almost an entire lifetime to figure this out. when i awakened that night with kipling’s line from ‘if’ : ‘if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you and make allowance for their doubting too,’ i realized that i did trust myself and i could make allowance for their doubting. i have never been happier, and it was because i was finally true to my own destiny and not what others wanted for me.

    thanks; i always treasure your posts!

    lisa/z

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:04 am

      Lisa, Thank you so much for sharing this. Also thank you for the kind words. I hope that you have a terrific day!

      Reply
  3. rodneycrandall says

    May 6, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Love this! That sounds like a powerfully authentic life to me!

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:04 am

      🙂

      Reply
  4. Healthy A-Z says

    May 6, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    I can so relate to this. The new perspective is so freeing, isn’t it? Who we genuinely are IS enough.

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:05 am

      Yes, it is! 🙂

      Reply
  5. microrrelatososhortstories says

    May 6, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    when I change myself to please others I am also rejecting my true self… the worse rejection one can receive is the self inflicted… thank you for this post, it’s a great reminder of a choice I once made! Alexandra

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:05 am

      So true, Alexandra!

      Reply
  6. Marty says

    May 7, 2013 at 12:18 am

    Motto, live do not judge, keep moving, accept all of you. You are perfect, when in this present moment letting others along with situations exist on their own.

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:06 am

      Thanks Marty.

      Reply
  7. jennifertemp says

    May 7, 2013 at 1:15 am

    This is so true – has taken 1/2 a century+ to figure this out.

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:06 am

      Hey, but at least you did. Good for you! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Lily Mugford says

    May 7, 2013 at 1:58 am

    I can relate, I had a real problem with accepting who I am, I wanted to be someone else so I pretended until I fell into a pit of depression. It was a long climb out but I am now just me. Like it or not, here I am.

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 7, 2013 at 11:08 am

      I am glad that you are just you, Lily! That is how it is suppose to be. There is no one quite like you! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Vicki Flaherty says

    May 7, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Lovely post…thank you for sharing. Why does it take us so long, Kristin? Especially when there is such light and magic on the other side of that denial? We are each enough. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Ann tomlinson says

    May 7, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    So true . Very simple but valuable advice.

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

      🙂

      Reply
  11. kindredspirit23 says

    May 8, 2013 at 1:16 am

    Stopped by and liked what I saw.
    Good job!
    Scott

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

      Thank you, Scott. Have a great day!

      Reply
  12. The Water Bearer says

    May 8, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    Wow I love this. It is me! It took me a long time for me to realise this was the unhealthy basis for my relationship with my Mum (and many others). She has unachievable expectations of who she wants me to be and once I accepted that I would never be able to be that person, never be able to keep her pleased, I had to let go of seeking her approval and acceptance. Now I can be the best version of me and I feel bad for her that she is missing it, but not the slightest urge to be untrue to myself just to share my life with her. It was the best freeing decision I have ever made. Blessings to you!

    Reply
    • Kristin Barton Cuthriell says

      May 9, 2013 at 11:09 am

      Thank you for sharing this. Some people spend their lives trying to get the approval of those that can never give it. Freeing to just be the best version of yourself and to be good with that. Blessings to you, too.

      Reply

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