Yes, you read it correctly. Although relationships can be complicated and often messy, some relationship problems do not take long to fix. With just a little knowledge, practice, and work, you can get your relationship snowballing in a much healthier direction. Take a look at these relationship problems and their quick fix.
Relationship problem: We are both so busy and feeling very disconnected from one another.
Quick Fix: Set aside fifteen minutes everyday for touch base time with your partner. Touch base time is a set time everyday to sit down together and share one positive thing that has happened in your day and one thing that you appreciate about your partner. This can be difficult if you have had a really rough day, but find something positive, no matter how small. This works even better if you are sharing from a journal. You will eventually have a running record of many positives to reflect back on during difficult times.
Relationship Problem: Most of our disagreements happen in the evenings when we are both tired and have very little patience. Our arguments escalate very quickly and we go round and round solving nothing.
Quick fix: Ignore the old rule about not going to bed angry. Agree to disagree for that night. Both of you acknowledge that the problem will be better addressed when you both are rested. Have confidence that your partner is not going to get up and leave you in the middle of the night. (If this is a concern, you need more than fifteen minutes to address your issues.)
More harm than good is done when two people are over tired and throwing out insults that may be impossible to take back. Many times you will find that your disagreements do not seem as large or as intense after you have had rest and time to cool down.
Relationship Problem: Our arguments always turn nasty, and we say things that we don’t really mean. The things that we say to one another are really vicious, and it is tearing us apart.
Quick Fix: Sit down together when you are not in the heat of the moment and make a fair fighting contract that both of you sign. Include things like no name calling, no use of the words “always” and “never”, and no zeroing in on one another’s vulnerabilities. Yes, STAY AWAY FROM THE JUGULAR!
Relationship Problem: Things have gotten boring. We don’t do anything exciting together anymore.
Quick Fix: Sit down together for several minutes a week and make a plan. Plan to do something with your partner each week and put it on the calendar. Forget about being spontaneous and just get it planned. When it is on the calendar it is more likely to happen. Don’t back out. Put your plan at the top of your priority list. Whatever it is you plan to do with your partner, leave the cell phone behind.
Relationship Problem: My partner and I enjoy going out together for a couple of drinks, but after he has had a beer or two and I have had a glass or two of wine, we end up bringing up the same old issues and fighting the rest of the night.
Quick Fix: You have two choices here. Decide what choice is best for the two of you before going out. Either don’t drink alcohol or agree not to discuss touchy issues when either of you have had anything to drink. Stay away from finances, your sex life, issues with the in-laws or anything else that tends to be a sensitive issue. Save these issues for another time.
Many relationship problems take a lot of time and effort to correct, but if you and your partner are willing to give these quickies a try, you will definitely be giving your relationship a jump-start in the right direction. It is all about building positive momentum.
How about you? What have you done to fix some of your relationship problems? We can learn from each other. Please share.
Related article: psychologytoday.com