In that small space between the event and your response, remind yourself to “ride the wave of emotion.” When an upsetting even occurs, if we can just stop for a moment, identify the emotions that we are feeling, accept them without judging them, and remind ourselves that they will pass, we may find the courage to endure them for a little while. We can experience our feelings and make rational decisions all at the same time. We just need to make sure we are in wise mind before we respond.
God told Adam to “Name the beast and you shall rule over it.” If I name the emotion I will rule over it. It takes time to name the emotion, and by the time it is named, it will have passed on by. This has proved true for me many times, especially with my husband. Lots of practice there.
Did you know that when we get hot with emotion, the flow of blood to the thinking part of our brain (the cerebral cortex) slows down so that more blood can flow to the reptilian (the amigdala) part? So when we are over-emotional we are not thinking clearly enough to make a good, thought-out decision.
Hi Robin. Thank you so much for your comments. You bring up some very important things here. When we are emotionally triggered, it is so important that we pause without reacting right away so that we can calm down our amigdala and give the problem solving part of our brain a chance to take part in our decision making. So true! Naming the emotion and thinking about what we are thinking and feeling is so powerful!
It is getting easier but sometimes the emotions are like a tidal wave which capsizes the boat and it’s very hard to hang on.
I hear you! Keep trying to name the emotion without judging it, knowing it will always pass. Observe it and describe it. Don’t try to hang on to it or push it away. It just is! And as uncomfortable as it may be, it will pass!
This is hard to do but very necessary.
Observe it. Describe it. Don’t judge it. Know that it will pass.
Terrific advice, my friend.
Thank you, Brian. Enjoy your Thursday.