Since I cut ties with a parent (who is also a grandparent), there were other, hidden implications: he stopped having a relationship with my kids as well.
They are learning firsthand, just how much maintenance their mother was “putting into it” all these years. Now that I’m not perpetuating the ties (and I’m also not forbidding them), it has come to the fore front just how committed Pappaw really was to THEM. It is hard watching my kids realize when a treasured relationship built on sand. It takes two to tango; their dance partner bowed out.
As for me, I was spending so much mental energy living up to expectations there that it’s like having extra precious chunks of new time to live every day. Very liberating, to say the least, Kristin. I just wish it wasn’t a parent.
I don’t know which is worse: LOSING a parent, as in death, or losing the connection to a parent who is still living. It may be a while before the feeling is truly reconciled. In the meantime, liberating is the right word! It was toxic, no matter how I sliced it.
Especially hard if those people are family!!
Very true!
I agree with Stuartart. Except I cut mine…25 years late, but I did it!
Has it made your life easier? Great to hear from you, Shannon!
Since I cut ties with a parent (who is also a grandparent), there were other, hidden implications: he stopped having a relationship with my kids as well.
They are learning firsthand, just how much maintenance their mother was “putting into it” all these years. Now that I’m not perpetuating the ties (and I’m also not forbidding them), it has come to the fore front just how committed Pappaw really was to THEM. It is hard watching my kids realize when a treasured relationship built on sand. It takes two to tango; their dance partner bowed out.
As for me, I was spending so much mental energy living up to expectations there that it’s like having extra precious chunks of new time to live every day. Very liberating, to say the least, Kristin. I just wish it wasn’t a parent.
Sounds difficult all the way around, Shannon.
I don’t know which is worse: LOSING a parent, as in death, or losing the connection to a parent who is still living. It may be a while before the feeling is truly reconciled. In the meantime, liberating is the right word! It was toxic, no matter how I sliced it.
I am sorry for your pain, but glad you feel liberated! I hope you and your family had a great weekend, Shannon!