Written by Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed., MSW, LCSW
There is a certain amount of power and control that comes with the acceptance of personal responsibility. No longer does life just happen to you. You become part of life, and with that, you become part of solutions. In a sense, you are cutting the puppet strings and making things happen. You lay to rest, all traces of a victim mentality; the mentality that did nothing, but keep you stuck and hold you down. Waiting for others to make life better for you, is really not living at all. You are strong and have more personal power than you will probably ever know.
If you have gotten into a pattern of thinking that you are stuck and that everything is beyond your control, it is now time to challenge those beliefs and begin to replace them with a new way of thinking. It is time to become solution focused. It is time to let life in.
“We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them. This statement may seem idiotically tautological or self-evident, yet it is seemingly beyond the comprehension of much of the human race. This is because we must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. We cannot solve a problem by saying “It’s not my problem.” We cannot solve a problem by hoping that someone else will solve it for us. I can solve a problem only when I say “This is my problem and it’s up to me to solve.”
Peck goes on to say…
“But many, so many, seek to avoid the pain of their problems by saying to themselves: This problem was caused me by other people, or by social circumstances beyond my control, and therefore it is up to other people or society to solve this problem for me. It is not really my personal problem.”
Are you able to distinguish between what you have control to change and what is beyond your control? What are your thoughts?
Scott, Peck, M.D., Simon and Schuster, New York: 1978
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