Written by Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed., MSW, LCSW
There is a certain amount of power and control that comes with the acceptance of personal responsibility. No longer does life just happen to you. You become part of life, and with that, you become part of solutions. In a sense, you are cutting the puppet strings and making things happen. You lay to rest, all traces of a victim mentality; the mentality that did nothing, but keep you stuck and hold you down. Waiting for others to make life better for you, is really not living at all. You are strong and have more personal power than you will probably ever know.
If you have gotten into a pattern of thinking that you are stuck and that everything is beyond your control, it is now time to challenge those beliefs and begin to replace them with a new way of thinking. It is time to become solution focused. It is time to let life in.
Below is an except from M. Scott Peck‘s classic book, The Road Less Traveled, regarding personal responsibility.
“We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them. This statement may seem idiotically tautological or self-evident, yet it is seemingly beyond the comprehension of much of the human race. This is because we must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. We cannot solve a problem by saying “It’s not my problem.” We cannot solve a problem by hoping that someone else will solve it for us. I can solve a problem only when I say “This is my problem and it’s up to me to solve.”
Peck goes on to say…
“But many, so many, seek to avoid the pain of their problems by saying to themselves: This problem was caused me by other people, or by social circumstances beyond my control, and therefore it is up to other people or society to solve this problem for me. It is not really my personal problem.”
Are you able to distinguish between what you have control to change and what is beyond your control? What are your thoughts?
Scott, Peck, M.D., Simon and Schuster, New York: 1978
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Very true
Thank you for your comments, Jenny.
No problem…I make sure I drop by from time to time to say hello
Happy weekend..
Hi Kristin, thanks for sharing! You and I are thinking alon similar lines today…I just posted the quote below from “The Steps We Took” by Joe McQ.
“We look at resentments. We’ve found out they are a distortion of the truth – a way to take a situation, cast the blame on somebody else, and totally escape, so we have nothing to do with it whatsoever!”
Well said!
We as Americans love to talk about our liberty and freedom. We have a statue of liberty on the east coast to celebrate this part of who we are. What we need is a statue of responsibility on the west coast to remind us that with great freedom comes great responsibility.
I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for sharing this!
Excellent – I love M. Scott Peck. Him and NDW really changed how I thought about life and responsibility. Your comment above about cutting strings just made me realise what the Pinnochio story is all about. Thanks. 🙂
M. Scott Peck is one of my favorites too. Thank you for your comments. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Reblogged this on Todd's Perspective and commented:
Thank you, Kristin! I have cherished The Road Less Traveled for almost 30 years…
I discovered the book in graduate school and have referred to it often ever since.
Life is difficult. The sooner we accept that fact… 😀
I went to a very large conference in March for mental health professionals. The keynote speaker was Andrew Weil, M. D., a leader and pioneer for the field of Integrative Health Medicine. He is a pretty controversial guy when it comes to treating mental health issues from a medical model point of view, but he made some great points. He discussed happy as an emotion that comes and goes. Too often people expect to be happy all of the time without accepting that suffering is part of life, too. Emotions are temporary, and sometimes we need to ride the wave.
So true. Right now my wife is in Italy with her family. Running a business and managing 4 boys in her absence is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I’m happy because I’m fighting hard to be one minute at a time… 😀
This, too, shall pass. And you will appreciate your wife all the more:) Hang in there.
Life is difficult, right? Peck’s book is a great tool…
Great tool.
Great post Kristin. “You cannot solve life’s problems, except by solving them.”
Thanks, David. The most simple things are often profound!
This so true very well put..
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Hi Kristin,
yes, I can not agree more with what you say.
Indeed, responsibility is the most important thing in our lives for many things. It creates confidence, satisfaction and confidence of the people around us.
If everyone took his responsaibilités this would change the face of our world.
I’m really pleased that we are many who believe in the same values.
Have a great day
Martin, Thank you so much for you comments and for sharing my content. We are on the same page about many things. I look forward to reading more of your blog. Kristin
Yes, I think the same 🙂 Cheers! Martin
My life these days seems to be one incident of irony followed by another. Yesterday while at a bookstore I remembered a book a friend has been recommending for some time now….A Road Less Traveled, by Scott Peck. This morning catching up on blog reading, I read your post. I realized too late that I had not purchased the first book in his series, but the sequel to it. I look forward to reading it as soon as I can pick up a copy.
Lisa, It is a great book. I do recommend you read the first one. You should be able to get it at the library or from amazon for a few dollars. Thanks for your comments.
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