My clients come to me for help. But I often learn so much from my clients. This week was no exception. I had a gentleman come see me. He was getting up there in years and wanted to talk to someone about the way that he had been feeling for quite some time now.
As he began to talk, he spoke of regrets. He discussed the early years of his marriage, his long long days at the office, and his children who had grown up in a blink of an eye. He spoke about the years he spent angry- angry about things that he could not have changed. He discussed the precious time that just slipped by while he was busy worrying about tomorrow. “So much time wasted,” he said with tears in his eyes.
As I listened to him, I couldn’t help but get tears in mine. Where had the time gone and why did I not appreciate the moment- was his message.
If you read my blog, you can probably guess where I would steer this gentleman after taking some time to share his pain. I would help him to reflect on the times that he did stop and appreciate. I would help him to see the good in his life. And I would help him wake up to right now. After all, his life is not over.
But I did take something from that session- something very powerful. Here is what I learned. Maybe it can be a reminder to us all.
Don’t wait. Set things right. You will not be on this earth forever. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Don’t allow your pain, anger, and sorrow to ruin your tomorrow. Enjoy today. Don’t waste time bound in a ball of resentment. Take all of that energy that has been bound up in resentment and bitterness and free it up so that you can do new, wonderful, and exciting things. Free it up so that you can grow and move forward with your life. When you are full of bitterness there is no place left for love to dwell. Freedom comes with letting go. When you spend the moment regretting the past or worrying about the future, you miss today. Don’t wait. Find something to appreciate about today.
Oh Kristin – that is so spot on. I’m as guilty as anyone for thinking about the future so much, TODAY is all there really is. Tomorrow is just another TODAY still to come – let’s make the most of them. Thanks for that lovely post. 🙂
Thank you, Stuart. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. 🙂
Kristin, you rock! Have you ever considered writing a book? 😀
My book, The Snowball Effect: How to Build Positive Momentum in Your Life, is coming. Stay tuned! Thanks, Todd. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. 🙂
Hello Kristin! Thanks so much for sharing this post. You are truly awesome.
Noel, You are awesome, too! Thank you for sharing my post with your readers. xoxo
Reblogged this on This Blogging Thing.
Kristin, lovely advice. Life is short, eat dessert first!
Sounds good to me. 🙂 Thanks, Joanne. Have a great rest of the weekend.
That is so funny (not haha funny), but as I read this post I thought this is just like a scene out of my latest book (Julia’s Violinist). I don’t mean to be flogging my book sales here but when Todd said “Have you ever considered writing a book?” I thought it was just too weird that my comment was going to be basically what he thought too. What you’ve written here is a chapter out of real life. Anybody’s life. We all have regrets, and a reminder to deal with these things before it’s too late is very good advice. Thanks for another great post.
I am looking forward to reading your book! I am currently working on a book. The Snowball Effect: How to Build Positive Momentum in Your life. It will probably be out towards the end of summer. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Thank you for your support!
You are so right.
My clients teach me a lot. They really do. 🙂
Kristin I love this post! So very true! Thanks for sharing! xo
You are very welcome. xo
Isn’t this one of the things we always know, always forget and are always happy to be reminded of? Thank you.
You are so welcome. I am looking forward to seeing your new site! 🙂
Wonderful post Kristin. Thank you
Thanks David. Enjoy your Sunday.
Thank you for this post. I often tell people the same thing, but I don’t practice what I preach nearly as often as I know I should. So, thank you for the reminder. I think we get so caught up in our own “stuff” so often that we do tend to forget that we are not immortal, so when someone comes along to remind us – through their own perspectives and experiences – it’s a sign to us that we need to think about what truly matters and maybe spend more time focusing our energies on that, instead of letting ourselves be carried away by the things that are not as important. Just my thought on that..
Anyway, thank you for the reminder about what truly matters. I really appreciate it.
You are welcome. I agree with you. We do so often get caught up in our “stuff” that in the long wrong really won’t matter. Thank you.
This is a beautiful message to take away from that session, Kristin. Thank you for sharing it with us. I never thought I’d have regrets about the things I’ve done, because I’ve always based my decisions on “doing the right thing.” However, now that I’m getting older, I find that it’s the things I did NOT do that have become regrets. I certainly can feel that man’s emotion with him, and understand why it touched you.
Thank you Lori. Yes, it is sometimes what we do not do that brings us regret. But all that we can do is our best and try not to beat ourselves up for the things that we did not know at the time.
Very sound advice!
My clients often teach me so much. Thank you.
This is so true, Kristin. And forgiveness is the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves. We forgive someone else and a burden falls from us, we forgive ourselves, after all we are human we are not perfect, and an even greater burden falls.
Well said, Corinne. 🙂
Awesome message Kristin..don’t wait. I totally agree, thank you for sharing.
You are welcome, Tina. Thank you for your comments.
I especially like that what you said about life not being over yet and to focus on the day at hand. Good advice.
The day at hand- so so important! Thanks for commenting.
Hi, Kristin: I’m glad you didn’t mind my quoting you. After I posted I though maybe I should have asked first! I’m deriving much benefit from your blog. Thanks! Diane
Diane, You are so welcome! Thanks for sharing it with your readers. Have a great Monday. 🙂
Amen. Going to share this…thanks for offering this great perspective.
You are so welcome, Brian. Thank you for sharing it!
Reblogged this on Brian's Blog and commented:
Another great post from my friend Kristin.
Good stuff.
God willing, some day each of us will be an elderly man or woman, and will we look back and see a life full of meaningful moments where we lived what was really most important to us?
Or will we be more like that elderly gentleman you counseled and see that so much of what we did was a chase after the wind, was about vanity, greed, status, getting ahead, things that ultimately do not matter and that we can’t take with us?
In the future, are we going to look back on how we’re living now and the choices of how we’re spending our time now (playing with and engaging the kids or numbing ourselves with TV or too much web surfing, etc.) and be proud of ourselves or disappointed with ourselves?
Begin with the end in mind. That’s so important, so crucial. It does so much to help us create and make the best of the “pause” or gap that you speak of in your next post (and that Covey and Frankl write about as well).
The corollary to this post would be one about sudden tragic lost—another cause for regret for many people.
Contemplating and reflecting on things like this, although perhaps unsettling and even depressing, can actually be quite good spiritual nourishment and soul food.
Good stuff as always, Kristin.
Kindest regards,
John
I always enjoy reading your comments. Enjoy your day! 🙂