Don’t Allow Anyone to Knock You Down!
“Somehow we learn who we really are and then live that decision.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Unfortunately, way too many people learned that they were something that they are not- and then they learned to live with that decision. Many intelligent people were told they were stupid, worthy people told they were worthless, attractive people told they were ugly, creative people told they wouldn’t amount to anything.
Most of the time these assessments had everything to do with the insecurities and emotional wounds of the giver and nothing at all to do with the receiver. But when the receiver heard these messages and believed them to be true, a self-fulfilling prophecy occurred. The person acted in ways that validated the false message.
The person who hears he is stupid stops trying and as a result- his grades go down, confirming the false belief. The person who is told she is ugly isolates others and hangs her head in shame and as a result- her peers don’t approach her- validating her false belief. The person who hears he will never amount to anything, refuses to take a risk and opportunities are lost- confirming the false belief.
Don’t allow anyone to knock you down!
When someone puts you down do not accept their assessment as truth. It is only their opinion and usually has everything to do with them and nothing at all to do with you. You do not have to let their emotional junk stick to you. It is their junk- it doesn’t belong to you- unless you accept it!
A self-compassionate loving person doesn’t go around putting others down. Quite the contrary, really. Someone who is full of genuine self-love wants to make the world a better place. Someone with genuine self-love wants to boost others up. Please think about this the next time someone purposely tries to knock you down. This is also a great lesson to teach your children.
Have a great day! -Kristin
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Love reading your posts! You are such an encourager!
So are you! Thank you for your kind words. By the way, I wish I had your organizational skills. I guess I am a work in progress- thank you for the help.
I literally got knocked down on the playground in third grade, even though I got back on my feet it took me many years to get back up..I see this everywhere … Why is it so easy to accept the negative, and so difficult to accept the positive, love ourselves, and light the world?
I think it is probably an old survival skill that helped our ancestors, but doesn’t work well in modern times. We are probably programmed to pay attention to the negative much more than the positive. Maybe this would have saved us or protected us a long long long time ago. But today it just gets us stuck believing negative messages that are usually not true. Although it took awhile, I am so glad that you got back up!
Agreed, psychology tends to forget, or at least discount biology … It took some years, but yes, I brush off the dirt, and the best part was knowing how to coach my son and daughter … Thanks for sharing.
Reblogged this on Wholeheartedness and commented:
Amen!
Thanks, Todd. Enjoy your weekend!
Great read for the morning.
Thank you for reading, John. Have a terrific day!
I suppose confirmation bias works in reverse like that – we end up looking for (or creating) evidence that supports what we’re hearing. Hmm, food for thought. Thanks as usual Kristin. 🙂
Yes, food for thought!
It took me a long time to realise I didn’t have to accept every negative comment as the truth. When someone is trying to knock you down, it says much more about them than it does about you.
Yes it does! Have a great weekend, Caroyln.
Thank you! Your posts are always so wonderful. 🙂
Currie, Thank you so much for continuing to read and comment! xoxo
No problem. 🙂
Precisely because many of us were told in childhood we were flawed, defective is why we need affirmations to change the ego, self image.
Say affirmations out loud and record them to play back during the day. Neuroscience is simple positive is Teflon negative is Velcro, so add all positive and change this first.
Yes, yes, yes! Use a teflon mind! Thanks Marty.
Excellent advice.
🙂 Enjoy your weekend!
Thanks, Kristin! Like so much of your excellent advice, this feels like something I know on some level, but need to be reminded of until it becomes a good habit!
Remind yourself, remind yourself, remind yourself!!! Have a great weekend. 🙂
Great post Kristin, we need to invest in our children in a positive way…they are our future.
Love reading your posts, have a great weekend 🙂
Thank you, Tina. I hope that you have a terrific weekend, too! xoxo
This was so good. I’ve always tried to teach my kids… a great basketball player doesn’t have to go around talking about how great he is. He just is and people will see it. Basketball just happens to be the example but you get the jest…. It all is so simple. God taught us in so many examples He has given… treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. It really is refreshing when you meet someone who lives like that. You look forward to being around them… and as you start living that way you really will notice that people want to spend more time with you It is empowering not to jump in and gossip or add a negative comment to something. It is hard to walk away sometimes… we all want the last word… but sometimes not having it gives you way more power! 😉
Great post with so many thought provoking reminders! Thanks for taking the time to post it!
Diane, Thank you so much for your insightful comments. You bring up many great points here! Thank you for being you. You make the world a brighter place! 🙂
Amen! Thank you for this great reminder that our worth is NOT defined by what other people say about us. Have a good day, my friend.