- acknowledging that we want to change
- becoming aware that we put ourselves down
- catching ourselves each time we are self-critical
- becoming our own nurturing self-parent.
While Steps 1-4 are more focused on taking action in-the-now, Step 5 has us learn where the messages originated from in our past. Did we receive these messages from someone else? Did someone else throw their own critical judgments our way, and they stuck?
By learning where these messages came from in the first place, we can begin to challenge their validity. Maybe the messages that we have been telling ourselves for years belonged to someone else and we accepted them as truth.
We do not search for the source of these messages to stir up bitterness and resentment. We search for the source so that we can challenge and release some of the garbage that stemmed from the fear, anger, and insecurity of another person. It is a way to let go.