Powerful Positive Practice 1
Examine the whole picture and look at what is real. People often fall in love with an idealized version of something or someone. They want it to work so much that they ignore all of the red flags and focus only on the good. They are optimistic to the point of making judgment calls that lead to years of pain. Maybe the house is in such a great location that the decaying foundation is ignored. Maybe your partner is so charming that you dismiss his or her abusive side that comes out only when he or she has had too much to drink. Remember…you are getting the whole package. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Make sure you want it all!
Powerful Positive Practice 2
Aim for progress not perfection. Aiming for progress keeps you encouraged. It keeps you going. It keeps you growing! Aiming for perfection makes you feel like you are never good enough. It leaves you discouraged and overwhelmed. Remember that personal growth is a snowball effect. One small step leads to another and another until big change occurs, and there is tremendous growth. Celebrate progress along the way!
Powerful Positive Practice 3
Be open to feedback even if you perceive it as criticism, but do not let a critical person define you. While feedback can be helpful, it should focus on behavioral change rather than who you are as a person. People who are constantly critical are the most critical of themselves. They may present themselves as flawless, blaming others for everything, but deep inside they are full of self-condemnation. Don’t let their stuff stick to you.
Powerful Positive Practice 4
Avoid trying to change another person. You can educate and influence others, but you will not be able to change someone who doesn’t want to change. You can spend your whole life trying, only to become frustrated over and over again. Focus on self-growth and you may find that people around you begin to change without you trying to deliberately change them.
Powerful Positive Practice 5
Tolerate the short-term anxiety and pain to get to long-term happiness. Erich Fromm put it well, “To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.” We may suffer, but we also learn in the valley so that we have the strength and know-how to climb the mountain.