Self-compassionate people hold themselves accountable for their actions.
They are not threatened by their mistakes. Because they do not judge themselves harshly, they are able to admit their mistakes. Because they are able to admit their mistakes, they are able to learn from them and own them. Because they own them they are less likely to blame others for them. They are also less likely to deny or rationalize their unacceptable behaviors.
These people don’t make excuses. They are not threatened by their mistakes and know that their mistakes do not decrease their worth. This personal accountability creates positive momentum and spills over into relationships.
People who judge themselves harshly often engage in all or none thinking. They view people, including themselves, as all good or all bad. In their mind, making a mistake makes them all bad. And because of this, it makes it very difficult for them to admit their mistakes, even to themselves.
Self-compassionate people are able to see themselves more realistically. When they make a mistake, they still see themselves as a good person. They know that the mistake doesn’t define their worth.
Everything in my life changed for the better when I started to understand and practice self-compassion. Please continue to share your perspective on what true self-compassion looks like…
Will do! Thanks, Todd.
These are the kind of people you like to have as bosses.
Yes!
Reblogged this on Life after BPD and commented:
Very interesting short read.
Thank you for sharing this with your readers. I hope that you have a good day!
I have certainly been harsh on myself in the past. I have high expectations of myself (which drive me on), but I can sometimes find myself frustrated if I’m not getting the results I want soon enough. Then I have to reconnect with this self-compassion you speak of. It calms me and re-roots me somehow. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
I am glad that it calms you down and re-roots you. If you can push yourself, treat yourself with kindness, avoid harsh self-talk, hold yourself accountable and learn from your mistakes, it sounds like you are on a great track. Self-compassion is kind of like being a “good” parent to yourself. Treat yourself with love, respect, self-discipline, patience, …. that kind of thing. Have a great day Stuart.
That’s it Kristin. Of course we all have moments where we slip back into old behaviours and thought processes. But, if we can practice awareness, those will diminish over time and dissipate more easily. 🙂
🙂
Just want you to know how much your blog inspires me in my own journey.
I am so glad!!! Keep up the good work!
This is something I wish I’d learned when I was younger. Better late than never!
Better late than never. Very true!
such a struggle for this all or nothing person.
Yes, but it can be done. Challenge all or none thinking. Be aware of words like “always” and “never”.
defintely.
🙂
The Buddhist ideal of do no harm seems easy until we realize it means us first. That means never saying a bad word about us or entertain a negative thought.
The ego is our personal résumé, we do not write our flaws inside our résumé.
Love it!
Mistakes are to learn from.
Yes!
It’s a tiring process to find excuses every time…
Yes. No need for excuses if we always do our best and realize that we are going to make mistakes. We are human.
Such a reaffirming post for me Kristin, thank you 🙂
Tina, I am glad. You are so welcome!
I agree, such a reaffirming post. Sometimes we just need to read the words to hear it!
True! I am glad that you found it reaffirming! Thank you for your comments.
Very Interesting. Ought to know these truths.
Well of you.
Thank you.
I have been diligently practicing self-compassion for over a year. When one treats oneself with loving-kindness and stops beating oneself up, it enlarges one’s ability to have greater compassion for others. Check out this website http://www.self-compassion.org Kristin Neff’s website.
Thank you for sharing this website Shelly. Kristin Neff’s work is awesome! Keep up the good work.