Self-Compassion: It all begins with you!
Too many people confuse self-compassion with self-absorption, however, they are two very different things. Believe it or not, the person who lacks self-compassion is more likely to be self-absorbed. You see, if you are kind to yourself, you don’t go around projecting all of your hostility onto everyone else.
When you are full of self-compassion, you allow yourself to make mistakes without being so quick to blame everyone else. Being wrong is not so threatening. You chose to learn from your mistakes rather than beat yourself up over them.
When you are full of self-compassion, you are not so quick to judge others. You are okay with not being perfect so you do not unconsciously hide behind your own self contempt by harshly judging others. You don’t need to put others down to boost yourself up, you are already okay with yourself. You know you are a work in progress.
When you are self-compassionate, you treat others with compassion because you know that they go through struggles just like you. Their struggles may be different from yours, but you know that no human life is struggle free.
When you are full of self-compassion, you take care of yourself. You know that your body is the only place here on Earth where you can live. You feed it healthy foods and exercise it regularly. And as a result, you feel better mentally, physically, and emotionally.
When you are self-compassionate, you nurture your spirituality. You lean on a higher power for help. You don’t try to tackle everything yourself.
When you are full of self-compassion, see the world much differently than people who tear themselves down. People who tear themselves down are more likely to focus on the negative things in life, whereas self-compassionate people see the good in most situations.
People who tear themselves down don’t have a whole lot left to give to others. When you are filled with self-compassion, you have a lot of compassion to share with others.
When you are filled with self-compassion, you do not view yourself as a chronic victim. You do not turn to addictions to numb your pain and heal your shame. You are able to forgive yourself and others. You are full of grace. You strive for excellence without demanding perfection in all that you do. You try to live your best life and get back up when you get knocked down. You focus on your own growth rather than complain about the lack of growth in others. You are able to learn, you are able to love, and you are able to grow.
They next time you catch yourself putting yourself down, practice compassion. When you decide to be kind to you, amazing things will happen.
I loved this. I picked up a book about heaven the other day at the store and was just flipping through the pages. I particular few caught my interest…. it told of a scene this person had come upon… as she was going on some near death journey… she came upon a scene of a small little girl and immediately felt this surge of great love through out her whole being. She asked if this was the little baby she had aborted. (I am not sure who was guiding her through this heavenly journey because I did not end up buying the book) but the answer was… No, the little girl is you. Ahhh, I had to immediately put the book back on the shelf and began pushing my cart because huge tears formed. I could really relate. Though, I’ve never had an abortion I have never learned to really love myself. I think that is what heaven is all about.
http://dianereedwiter.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/whats-next/
God teaching us about HIS love and us learning how to love ourselves!
Great Post thank you!
You are so welcome! Thank you for your comments. Yes, it is so important to treat ourselves with the compassion we so badly desire! xoxo Kristin
On a very basic level, I think self-compassion simply means talking to yourself at least as nice as you talk to the dog! Sometimes our inner critic can be so loud and hurtful…
Well said, Todd!
I really enjoyed this post. I knock myself around like a bull would a log. I really need to remind myself to give me a break once in a while. I’m abstinent from junk food and compulsive overeating for 40 days now, and I can see how hard I am on myself. I have been instructed to get on my knees a lot and pray for God to help me. My only saving grace is that I know, without a doubt, that HE loves me.. more than life itself. Knowing this is the only reason why I’m still alive. I’ve been terribly suicidal over self-loathing. I haven’t been that way for a while (since God put a stop to that behavior in 1997). But that’s how bad I am to myself. My self-loathing was so bad that I thought I deserved death.
Thank you so much for your comments. I am so glad that you finally realized how loved you are! Think about where these false “I am worthless” messages came from in the first place so that you can continue to challenge them. You are worthy, you are special, and you are here for a reason! The book I will launch in January, The Snowball Effect: How to Build Positive Momentum in Your Life, discusses the importance of self-compassion in detail. Why it is important and how to get there. It sounds like you are on the right track. If you enjoyed this post, you will really like the book. It sounds like you have a strong relationship with God. I am happy for you!
At DirtNKids, our compassion does not end at our own species. We are stewards of our world, not takers of it.
Love it!